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Everyone is talking about self-love. Gone are the times when you were considered selfish because you spent time dealing with yourself, your personality and your needs. Today, it is known that it is not narcissistic to love yourself, but even a necessity. But why?
First, let me clarify one thing right off the bat: Self-love is not about being convinced that you’re the best person in the world and you’re impeccable. It is not about arrogance! It is about being kind to yourself, about giving yourself the same warmth, you would give to others. It is about knowing your needs and boundaries and making sure they are met and respected. It is about respecting yourself.
So, self-love is important for several reasons:
- It gets easier to set healthy boundaries. When you establish healthy self-love, you are less likely to get walked all over by others, because you know your own worth and are not afraid to speak up if your boundaries are being crossed.
- You gain more confidence. Once you learn to love yourself, you feel more comfortable in your own skin.
- The two benefits above lead to less stress and anxiety, which makes you healthier overall.
Of course, you don’t establish self-love overnight but especially not if you have been neglecting yourself lately. Knowing that you could give yourself a little more kindness and acknowledging that you’re worth it, is the important first step that needs to be taken. As you are reading this article right now, it is likely that you have already taken that first step. An easy method to keep going is journaling.
What is journaling and why is it good for establishing self-love?
Journaling is a little more than just keeping a diary. While you might just tell your diary about your day, journaling has a purpose, in this case: more self-love.
By writing, you can access your subconscious mind and discover things about you that you didn’t know before. Knowing yourself is crucial in the process of treating yourself a little better.
The key to journaling success is consistency. It’s better to write just a few things every day than to write several pages once a week. That way, you establish regular time spent with yourself. Also, you’ll be able to look back on what you wrote within a certain amount of time and maybe you’ll be able to identify patterns or red threads.
Journaling methods for more self-love and how they work
3 things I like about me
Every day, write down three things you like about yourself. Try to pick something new every day – there is so much to love, you will see!
In our everyday life, praise has become very rare and people rather notice something that bothered them. That’s why you might be focused on the mistakes you have made and your weaknesses. Time to remind yourself that there are so many things about you that are amazing!
Celebrate little successes
Whenever you get praised or whenever something goes really well for you – write it down! These occasions might seem minor to you, but this journaling practice will help you in the long run.
Oftentimes, a lack of self-love stems from a false perception of oneself. We tend to be our harshest critics. Our brains are trained to focus more on uncomfortable things to keep us safe. Writing down where you succeeded can help you train your brain to notice the positive things more.
Get clear about why you’re precious to others
If you asked the people in your life about your strengths, they would come up with much more than you would. Why? You’re important to them! Time to acknowledge that.
Combine this method with the first one and write down why you are a good friend, sibling, parent, etc. It strengthens your confidence to realize how precious you are to others.
Let go of what doesn’t serve you
Regularly ask yourself: What can I let go of?
Are you holding on to limiting beliefs? To false expectations you have for yourself or that others have for you?
If you journal regularly, you might discover hurdles like that which are standing in your way when it comes to loving yourself more.
Journal prompts for more self-love
If you want to get started right now, these journal prompts can help you. In the beginning, it is easier for a lot of people to start with precise questions instead of the methods above, which require more free writing.
- What makes me unique?
- I am worthy of happiness and love because…
- What habits, memories, relationships, etc. am I holding onto that are not serving me any longer?
- Did I receive any compliments lately? From whom? And how did I react?
- What can I forgive myself for?
- What are my three biggest strengths? How do they positively impact others?
- Is there a person in my life I feel judged by? In what ways? Why is this judgement invalid?
- When do I feel the most alive?
- Are there situations in my everyday life where I’m not myself? Why?
- Write a reference letter for yourself.
Once you’ve started the writing process, it will get easier every day. I wish you lots of fun and success on your self-love journey!
Guest post by Dorothee
About the author:
Hey, I’m Dorothee – yogini, ayurvedic counselor, avid writer, and journal therapist, based in Frankfurt, Germany!
Way before I started practicing and teaching yoga, I was super passionate about writing. It was my way to get creative, to calm my overthinker mind, and to heal.
Today, I use this passion to write my blog “The Writing Yogini”. Yoga and its sister science Ayurveda have improved my life a lot, and it can improve yours too!
Even though Yoga is pretty common nowadays, there are still people who are too intimidated to try it. It is my mission to show that Yoga, Ayurveda, and journaling is for everyone and that it’s super easy to benefit from it, even when you’re not spiritual.
I also offer ayurvedic consultations, helping people to get to know themselves and their bodies better and advising them what they could do in everyday life to feel happier and healthier. Read more about me here.
I would be more than happy if this article inspired you to go on a journey towards more self-love and I wish you all the best for it.